Website Review: Travis Pastrana
July 18, 2007
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So for my first review, IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m going to start with Travis PastranaÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s online kingdom: www.travis-pastrana.com (www.travispastrana.com, apparently, does not exist).
Travis, what the hell are you thinking, man? The homepage is a press release from October of last year about you winning the 2006 Rally America Championship. A press release? On the homepage of an action sports superstar? Congratulations and all Travis, but the people want to know about whatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s current, whatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s hot, what the jump-off is.
The Google Ads on the landing page are also killing me. What the hell is the point of selling ads here? Do I really need to see an ad for a Ã¢â‚¬Å“Travis Pastrana JerseyÃ¢â‚¬Â when I am visiting his website? DonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t you already have enough money, you need to start selling Google ads on your personal homepage? (one pretty humorous ad that showed up was for Ã¢â‚¬Å“BMX Motocross,Ã¢â‚¬Â which is actually something IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d like to see.) The color scheme on the homepage also sucks, but I didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want to point that out for fear of soundingÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ wellÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ a little too interior-decoratorish.
In the interest of saving you time, let me sum up TravisÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ bio page for you: he is a Libra, he has won a shit-ton of prizes, appeared in an equal amount of FMX movies, he likes Chick-Filet, and he appeared on episode #1.33 of the Martin Short Show in 1999. Fin.
Since we havenÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t seen any photos of Travis anywhere on his website thus far, letÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s take a look at the gallery, yeah? AndÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ wow! Some great shots from the 2001 X Games! But wait! ThereÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s more! Who could forget TravisÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ appearance at AMA Hangtown in 2001, or Budscreek 2002? And while youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re here, donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t forget to check out the Ã¢â‚¬Å“2001 MXÃ¢â‚¬Â gallery! All the current, sizling white-fire photographic Pastrana pornography you could ever wantÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ so long as it predates the US invasion of Afghanistan.
WeÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve got some forums in here too. TheyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve actually been updated quite a bit, some lively banter going on between crazyforbud8chevy and Suzuki_girl199. The forum actually appears to be the only part of the Pastrana online kingdom that has been updated in the past half-decade.
Speaking of updates, the last post in the official Ã¢â‚¬Å“newsÃ¢â‚¬Â section was made February 28, 2007. The Ã¢â‚¬Å“scheduleÃ¢â‚¬Â section lists the races in the 2006 Rally America Championship, the Ã¢â‚¬Å“resultsÃ¢â‚¬Â section is current through 2006, and the Ã¢â‚¬Å“T.V.Ã¢â‚¬Â section is current through 2002. The only other section on the site is the Ã¢â‚¬Å“shop,Ã¢â‚¬Â and the Ã¢â‚¬Å“shopÃ¢â‚¬Â is fucked. It doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t work.
The Verdict: An abomination of a website. But then again, if I were Travis why the hell do I care what my damn website looks like? IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m Travis Pastrana.
The Grade: D- (I just canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t give out an F for my first reviewÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ that and the one hottie he has a picture of in the gallery.)