Dude Falling on Your Face Ain't Cool
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From: Tyler Morant February 15, 2012 |
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Falling sucks! But if you ain't falling; you ain't learning. So if you are going to fall, it's best to know the the benefits of landing on the right body part. Cause breaking the wrong body part means your going to have a bad time.
Remember that with all techniques described here; it is best to take the hit like a man. Trying to fight gravity is a bad idea, so just let it happen. That means loosen up and get ready for the ride. If you tighten up and clinch muscles, the kinetic energy will not dissipate through your body. Bracing for impact means letting it happen. So stretch out and relax!
#1 Falling on your face
Falling on your face can get real ugly. Missing teeth, broken nose and even black eyes are the lingering symptoms. This normally happens when you decide to not put your hands out in front of you. So to keep your teeth in the place they are intended, put your hands out and break a wrist or forearm. You can always get a girl to help feed you or even bath you. But convincing them requires the ability to speak, and whistling after every word just makes girls laugh at you.
#2 Breaking a Wrist
Breaking your wrist ain't so bad, but most often it is the most AVOIDABLE of all injuries. Unless you are falling on your face, avoid this injury by making sure your hand is not the first thing to hit the ground. Let your body take the impact. Your wrists are the one of the most feeble parts of your body and do a poor job of displacing kinetic energy. So take the body hit cause you are less likely to break a bone
#3 Breaking a Collar Bone
The Collarbone is the most easily broken bone in your body and it is one of the most painful. It only takes 6 lbs of pressure to break. This injury is really common for those who successfully avoid landing on their head. So to avoid this, do not do anything that may result on you getting your feet over your head. This is not realistic though, cause going upside down means style points with the ladies. And choosing between a concussion and a collarbone, choosing the collarbone is always the better choice. The heal time is short and not as long lasting.
***Note: Avoid strip clubs with $1 lap dances. Your collarbone is often used as a brace for their dance moves, and strippers doing lap dances for $1 are normally too drunk to understand that you're screaming in pain.
#4 Blowing an ACL
This is one of the most common injuries in skiing. It's caused by either landing to far back seat or some sort of twisting out of the binding. This injury is easily avoided by making sure you drive your hands forward on every landing. That means banging out a landing like Tom Wallisch puts you at risk. The difference between you and him, is he knows how to keep his hands low while keeping his weight over his toes. The cool thing about an blowing an ACL is nothing. You are stuck on crutches for like 5 months and eventually you have told the story so many times you are sick of hearing it.
#5 Getting Concussed
Hands down the worst thing ever. Ringing your bell and/or getting knocked out is humbling. Normally the only way to avoid this is to avoid all things fun, like skiing. Typically a fall resulting in head trauma is because something went wrong and you had no time to react, so there is very little advice that can be given to help avoid taking this hit. A bruise to the brand has lingering damage. Common long term affects can include, poor memory, slurred speech and psychological effects. You can limit the damage by wearing a helmet. If you, can take the shot to the shoulders. When you see someone hit there head