It’s Action Sports Website Review time, where BNQT’s resident swami Dr. Pepe McGraw reviews the URLS of your favorite action sports stars.  As you can tell, all the  attempts to kill this column have failed and it continues to survive, defying reason and prolonging a vapid existence.  -Ed.


This week, we stop by Davemirra.com, if for no other reason that Dave is one of the only pro athletes out there with a website that we haven’t reviewed yet. 

Dave seems like a nice enough guy.  He’s got a nice enough site.  It’s even got a community full of hearty Dave Mirra enthusiasts, who are practically overwhelming in their lust and zeal for all things Dave Mirra.

Let’s have a little taste of the stately, dignified prose the members of Dave Mirra’s community have been coming up with lately.  Here’s a sampling from member “*~Da 1 N Only Mz. Pretty Pu$$i~KKE 4 Lyfe~* :

IM IN LUV WIT A MAN DAT LUVS ME FOR ME SUMONE I CAN TRUST ND TALK TOO ND TELL ALL MY PROBLEMS TO........ND MY SISTER JA'BREA LUV YA LIKE A BIG SIS ND U'VE HELPED ME THROW ALL MY PAIN ND SORROW ND BRANDON DATS 1 OF DA REALEST PERSON IVE TALKED TO IN MY LIFE I WANNA THANK HIM TO FA HELLPIN ME TOO LUV YALL FOREAL

In case you were wondering, under occupation, Mz. Pretty Pu$$iKKE 4 Lyfe lists “luvin my king like he loves me”

Here’s what *-* Mz. Thang*-*[ya DIGG?]* thinks about Dave Mirra

Wat it do my ***** what it do??????its that HOT GIRL SHAE,welcome 2 my sexy azz page. PLEASE SEND A FRIEND REQUEST CUZ IM 2 FLY 2 SEND THEM-LOL.I MEAN YOU ALREADY ON MY PAGE SO JUS SEND ME ONE PLEASEEEE.IM VERY CHILL AND LAID BACK BUT I LOVE 2 PARTY AND HAVE FUN.I AINT LOOKIN FOR LOVE JUS LOOKIN FOR A REAL ASS ***** TO KICK IT WITH.I AINT THE TYPE OF CHICK 2 TRIP, I MEAN LIKE I SAID I AINT LOOKIN FOR LOVE OR NO MARRIAGE COMMITMENT,YA DIGG?SO ALL MY F.A.N's (Fine Azz N****s)PLEASE HIT ME UP WIT A MESSEGE OR A TEXT ON MY CELLY YA DIGG?MUCH LOVE

And, of course, with your Dave Mirra profile you can post messages to Dave, following leads like this while displaying your firm grasp on the word "irony":

We are celebrating anniversary #5 on Friday - wanted to see if we can get a signed autograph from Dave Mirra addressed in our names...look below and see if you think its ironic.  Sincerely, Dave and Meara

Dave’s got a blog, but it looks like he got bored of running it around February.  The only interesting post is a story about Pastrana coming to his house and trying to learn a 360 no-handed backflip on a BMX bike.  Other than that the blog is a mind-bending cavalcade of press release gibberish. 

Daave’s got some videos, but they are all pretty bland.  I do admire him (or his subordinate posting lackeys) for using illegally posted X Games footage so blatantly as a sort of “fuck-you I’ll bite the hand that feeds me if I feel like it” statement.

OVERALL GRADE: Um… C, because why the hell not?  Another triumph born of dedication and industry from the Wasserman Media Group...  I just can’t give a grade any lower when I am turning out reviews this half-assed.