I'm a freak. I'm the last un-tattooed man in San Francisco--can you believe it? Citizens of San Francisco chase me down the street like I were the elephant man. The reason I don't have a tattoo: I fear commitment. If I'm committing to a tattoo for the rest of my life, I want to make sure it will be something that's still relevant 30 years from now. Sure that "No Doubt" tattoo might of seemed like a good idea 10 years ago, but maybe your taste in music has steered in a new direction.

If you're contemplating getting a tattoo, you should check out such sites as Bad Tattoos and Ugliest Tattoos of the type of ink NEVER to put on your body. Take a gander:

BIRTH CONTROL

Getting this tattoo it pretty much a commitment to never getting laid again.

MAN CHILD

Look! It's all the characters from Star Wars--on this large fella's back. Sure hope he loves Star Wars 20 years from now.

CREEPY

This is the thing nightmares are made of!

BACK

Worst tramp stamp EVER!

FART

Another commitment to never having sex again.

ARM CROTCH

This will always win over an employer during a job interview

SOMEONE DOESN'T LOVE RAYMOND

Correction, this has to be the worst tramp stamp of all time.

PAC MAN FEVER

Did someone lose a bet?

STRIP SEARCH

So hello to the rubber glove treatment at airport security.

DISEASE

I don't even know what the hell this is.